Sunday, April 25, 2010

But I thought we were friends

Do any of you have service type acquaintances in your life that you feel like you are friends with in a weird sort of way? Like your regular cab driver that you always request? Perhaps the receptionist at one of your client sites that you always visit with? Maybe it's the person you see for all your waxing needs, the regular morning barista, the ups delivery guy or even the night security guard at your apartment building. The type of person that seems to know all about you and you aren't too sure how it happened. In many cases you feel like you know all about them as well. But are they really your friends? I wonder how many consider me their friend that I would not give a second thought to?

I have one of those 'friends' in my life. It's my hairdresser. I quite dearly like her and trust her implicitly - at least I thought I did. She knows my nephews by name and I know her sisters by name. Remembers my home town as I do hers. She knows all about why I love my job as well as why it drives me crazy some days. I know all about the drama with her and her hubby's brother and wife. We exclaimed over her engagement, she pulled out the wedding photos 2 seconds into my visit after the big day, she was one of the first that I talked about my love for a boy at length with and I couldn't picture my wedding day without her doing the hair for me and my girls.

Then something happened. She went away for a few months to spend some much needed time with her man (her works down in Mexico on the rigs) and just be married. During that time she referred me to a couple different people in her salon. She was only supposed to be away for 5 or 6 months so that meant I only had to endure one other stylist appointment if I timed it right.

The stand-in did an okay job but she was a bit of a gong show on the personal front. I knew immediately we would not be friends. But that's okay, my friend was set to return... or maybe not.

The time off in Mexico was so delightful, she extended it by a bit. This meant I needed to attempt the other stylist. What a delight she was. We hit it off right away and she did such an awesome job with my color that I knew I was in love. Before the third visit to my new found friend, my original stylist had returned. Now what to do . . . but I knew that I was enjoying the fresh look and so I made the tough decision to stay where I was - with my new friend!

That first visit was awkward . . . my freshly tanned back from Mexico friend gave me a hug, said she understood and we can still be friends then wished me all the best. I knew there was something missing. The look in her eyes said she was hurt. I stumbled over my words and managed to escape thinking that the first visit is always the hardest but glad that we were still friends.

Before I could make a second appointment my new 'friend' had disappeared to Edmonton without so much as a note. So I swallowed my pride and back to the faithful friend I went hoping now it really would all be okay. But something was different. I realized we may know the kinds of things that friends know about each other but we are not friends. We are merely strangers that share intimate details. And was I okay with sharing those intimate details with a mere acquaintance?

She's expecting now. I can sneak in one more appointment before her mat leave. She doesn't know how long she will take. I don't think I will be waiting. I think it is time to move on. Try someone new. Hope I don't go bald through the search . . . . and this time . . . I don't think we will become friends . . .


abbott said...

we can compare notes on all the hairdressers we see, since I won't be banking on her return either. bah. I hate hunting for a hairdresser :(

Robin Berkan said...

I totally know where you are coming from. I, too, am "friends" with my hairstylist and I would hate to go to someone else. My only fear is that she'll decide to quit - she is only in her 40's, but I think she'll be around for awhile. Isn't it funny how we open up to our stylists - especially when they express an interest in what is going on with us. But, where else can you go and talk and feel like someone cares. Even the other ladies in the salon (they are all older - big plus for me) know lots about me. Good luck finding someone new!!