Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Hey ya'all!

I have landed in Fort Worth and am prepping for my first day on the client site. A little nervous tonight - not gonna lie.

And I do have a little story for you!

The most random cab driver happened to be at the front of the queue tonight! It didn't make for the most pleasant ride but I tried to not get anxious.

First of all, as soon as I start to get into the cab I start chanting watermelon as unfortunately he appears to smoke in his cab and so in the heat of Texas, the overwhelming smell of stale smoke, sweat and a well used cab hits me in the face. For those of you not aware, I have a pretty sensitive gag reflex and I find that when I see or smell something disgusting, the best way for me to not lose my cookies is if I use my inner voice to way watermelon watermelon over and over whilst thinking of watermelon hubba bubba. Weird I know but we all have a few of those I am sure. Unfortunately he was the only one in the queue and I didn't want to make a 'stink' of it so I climbed on in.

I give him the address and he stares at me blankly. I try to slow down, enunciate better and give him a little more information. Still nothing. Finally he asks if he can use the GPS on my phone - if I was in Calgary - sure. But I'm in Texas. Does he have any idea how much those roaming charges will cost me?? I reply no - but he keeps asking me if I have GPS until I finally explain the roaming piece. Then he shoves a receipt and pen my way for me to write down the address. That still doesn't help him so next he wants the hotel phone number. After a lengthy conversation with the hotel he is ready.

Please note that I also am in need of using the facilities but it's too late now that we are on the way.

As he is conversing on the phone, I am noticing that he keeps bouncing his foot up and down on the gas. I watch him rev the car to 2000 RPMs and let it rev down to 1000 RPMs. You can well imagine the feeling that this would achieve in the car as he speeds up and then lets his foot off the gas; speeds up and lets his foot off the gas until my bladder is ready to burst. He does this the entire $64 cab ride to the hotel. AND when stopped at a red light does it with the brake. I literally need to rest my head against the seat rest to keep my neck from getting sore.

He then starts to yoga breathe in time to the revving. So now I have a stinky hot cab in which he is creating a jerking motion and breathing heavily. I might as well watermelon chant to the same rhythm. I had to bite my tongue not to bust out laughing.

Needless to say upon arrival his tip wasn't very large and I think I heard him muttering under his breath. He didn't get out to get my bags out of the trunk for me either. Oh well - I'm a big girl - I can handle my own bags!

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