Friday, January 20, 2006

And Lani said her bus ride was uneventful . . .

I get on the bus this morning at 7:15 a.m. and am quite excited that there are some seats(- now you must remember that at this point I am the picture of innocence and sweetness). Of course they are all the way at the back of the bus and so I am quickly walking to the back before the bus driver decides to start driving all crazy (Cause there were definitely no cute boys in site that I would have wanted to land in their laps). A couple of the spots would require me to wake sleeping individuals to move over so I chose the one totally free one - wrong move. As I am about to sit down the guy puts his arm around the back of the seat and says "Hey girlie, come sit next to me!" As soon as I sit down I can smell the booze so I know I am in for a bit of an interesting ride (keep in mind this is 7:15 a.m.!! and it wasn't coffee and baileys I was smelling). Well he proceeds over the next 15 minutes to repeatedly ask me where I work, what I do for a living, how I am and if I think that I am better than everyone else - better than anyone in fact and then shares that he is a voodoo spiritualist. It didn't take me long to be wishing I had already purchased that Nano so that I could have appeared unapproachable - instead I go for the only maneuver I can thing of - I am either totally ignoring him by turning my head away or else telling him that I am not going to answer his questions Throughout this he is pulling at my hair (voodoo - yikes), flicking things onto me after he has scratched his head (lice - please tell me no) coughing on me (almost as though he is trying to cough spirits on me) and intensely staring at me (can I help it if I am irresistibly hot). It is silent for a couple minutes and I notice that my boot is slightly dirty so I reach down to clean it, then he does the same on his shoe. Followed by the remaining five minutes of him telling me that I think I am better than everyone else, but I need to realize that I am not. I am better than no-one. That he is better than me. That I act like I don't stink - but if only I would smell my fingers after I wipe my @$$ I would know that I stink as much if not more than others. That I am nothing. Over and over again. Not sure if I should laugh, cry or get up and walk away - I chose the praying for deliverance method!

And seriously - Lani's ride is completely normal. How can that be?!?!

2 comments:

abbott said...

oh my gosh juliane - that's horrible. I would have been gearing up to seriously tell this guy off. How you keep your cool, I am not sure.

Sarah & Lee in the M.E. said...

Let me just say that you should defiantly stick to the 5:40 #3 with your friendly bus driver, Tom, John, Rita and the gang. You are very brave though, I probably would have curled up in the fetal position under the seat and cried. So have you experienced any mysterious hair pullings or sharp pin pokes in your back lately???